i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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