I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
