I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sext me about skeletons
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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