Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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