if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
