About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is the high leading the old right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
