I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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