on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
