Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize