I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize