i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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