i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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