I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
