Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
