9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
