eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
