i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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