loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
