it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
