My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
