i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
