we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
