Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
