Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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