dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
