32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
