You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
