You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
