I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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