Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
