Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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