...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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