I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
