Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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