so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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