No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize