i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..