I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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