I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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