used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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