OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
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Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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