Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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