You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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