I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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