It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
