Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
