I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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