I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize