So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am one with the molecules
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
