Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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