i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
