I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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