Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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