it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
