Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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