is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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