We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
