I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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