I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
