Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
