Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
