they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
