HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
