did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
