you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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